We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
