yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Couch. On fire.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize