Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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