Me. At least after what I've been through.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
high people should be assigned attendants
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
