My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
