And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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