they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So apparently I’m into choking now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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