Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
