so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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