I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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