Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
