I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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