so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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