yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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