I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
