He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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