great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
