dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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