i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
