His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
