i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
