New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck appropriateness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize