so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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