good thing vaginas are great cup holders
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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