Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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