HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
