spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize