I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
