Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
