I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
