My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
