We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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