Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
