So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
