At least make sure they are 18
Why
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
