I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize