i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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