Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
