yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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