U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
