are you still at the devil's house?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
