He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
