So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
