how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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