She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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