Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
tell me about the fingering
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
