hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
