i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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