i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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