Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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