He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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