Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
