Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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