He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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