Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
