i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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