She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
