my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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