You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
