I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
